Oh Paige...don't be a Jackbutt like your Father...

Let's not even talk about what Robert and Sheila Johnson were thinking when they named their now 17-year old daughter, Paige.

The now divorced Johnsons seem to be aware of power and how to groom their little black progeny for the acquisition of it. Paige, a world-class junior equestrian competitor with hopes of becoming an Olympic champion, has won over $200,000 in prizes since first competing.

"Them" Johnson's sure know how to get over. Make money off of ushering African-American young people into a level of self-hatred never seen before the inception of BET (think about it), become BILLIONAIRES, then get your own kids as FAR away from the decrepit lifestyle you so endorsed with your choice of programming for blacks on the ONLY station exclusively for "the people".

You know, Robert...I know about you... I know how you took advantage of the Affirmative Action programs to get into Princeton and while there, was open about your jack-buttedness and your "money by any means necessary" mantra. Well, you weren't joking. You have single-handedly taken generations of black children into the cycle on no-expectations, PROVING that you are a true American. Yup...this belief that you can rise ONLY by stepping on other peoples necks...

Paige, seriously...smile and nod when papa talks to you, but KNOW that man has nothing of value to contribute to your sensibilities. Good luck.

Hypocrisy: What We Learned From Kate Moss

White (like powder) is still alright, black (like crack) is still wack...

We're watching VH1's "Fabulous Life of Comeback Stars," and of course Kate Moss is high on the list. She's being lauded for her ability to "come back" within like 60 days of her fall from grace - you know, the whole snorting coke on camera thing. This is a sore subject for us something that has been making us sick. Why? We'll give you an example.

Kate Moss graces the cover of this month's Vanity Fair, an homage to Marlene Deitrich and old Hollywood. September issues of major magazines are the actually the year's biggest, particularly fashion magazines. Advertisers clamor to be in these issues, unveiling new ad campaigns to highlight their most recent wares. Prime positions for ads are within a few pages of the cover, but before the masthead. This is primo primo space. Kate Moss appears on the cover gatefold in a four page spread for Calvin Klein (this is essentially four pages of ads attached to the front cover...simply put, it costs a fortune for Calvin Klein, and is a model's dream). Two pages down the road, she's in a 2 page spread for Louis Vuitton. Turn 5 pages, she's in a 2 page spread for Christian Dior. Turn 4 pages, you'll find Kate Moss in a 2 page spread for Burberry. Turn 6 pages for the masthead, and you see Kate Moss as Marlene Deitrich. To summarize, between the cover and the masthead there are a total of 12 advertisers. Of these 12 high-end campaigns, in premium ad space, 4 have selected Kate Moss to be the face of their luxury brand. Yes, one-third. Of course, her appearances in the magazine do not stop there - Kate Moss ads fill the editorial well...Kate Moss for Versace, Kate Moss for Kate Moss.

Kate Moss has been awarded 14 new ad campaigns, including most recently, Agent Provocateur, since her public "shaming." This comes exactly one year after she was videotaped vacuuming powder off a mirror with her nose. I mean, like, there was evidence. She has been praised for her comeback in every major media outlet. Comeback, we think, is a misnomer. Come back from what? From an industry who in 1992 herladed her as the second coming because of her "heroine chic" appearance. Drugs, and in particular cocaine, retain a little cachet, yes, cachet, among the whites. Let a negro smoke some weed, and we're a culture of degenerates. Hypocrisy.

The Africanized Latinos, huh?

Arnold Schwarzenegger, former drug and sex addict, proud son of a Nazi, and now governor of California, was caught on tape explaining the hot-blodded temperment of Latinos, specifically Cubans and Puerto Ricans during a behind-closed-doors speech writing session.

According to Schwarzenegger, the latino blood mixed with the black blood makes for some pretty savage beings...which would explain the "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Carlos" spirit of Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia whom they were referring to at the time.

What's interesting, though, is the respsonse of some of the major latino politicians. Well, I'm not going to go there... I mean...we have frickin' Clarence Thomas and Condi Rice!

It Doesn't Pay to Emulate U2....Especially if you're a Nigro

Sooooo...apparently our boy, Mos Def solidified his street cred with an arrest, last night, outside the MTV Video Music Awards.

A personal favorite of mine, this rapper extraordinaire took it upon himself to "Edutain" the masses (with sound system in tow) on the streets of NYC outside of the MTV Awards venue Thursday night.

Not unlike the impromtu rooftop stylings of U2, Mos Def took his message to the streetz with an ode to Katrina, a consciousness rap with a touch of "what the f*ck George Dubya"... only difference, the nigro was arrested.

Def was given a summons and was released FROM JAIL FRIDAY morning...

BTW...the Yahoo.com/Reuters version of the article is crap...check out the REAL DEAL here.

Where do I Begin...

Who would've "thunk" it... Celebrity Fit Club ... actually interesting?

Angie Stone done lost her mind for all the world to see making her the OFFICIAL black woman stereotype. Thanks, Ang... Isaac from the Love Boat, okay, okay, Ted Lange, gets tired of everybody's ass, while the rest of the entitled Fit Clubbers go ballistic on the "more docile than usual" panel. Flavor of Love almost got trumped with this weeks CFC episode...but not quite.

Flav will not be outdone (btw google image "Flava (not Flavor) of Love" to see what our girl Hoopz has been up to -- thaaaat trick)...!!!

Leave it to one of the biggest disgraces/guilty pleasures on tv to bump it up a notch when needed...

The girls of 2300 Flava Street had the opportunity to showcase their rump-shakin' skills for King Flav with the help of the negro male krumper and pale female choreographers (who wouldn't last one night in Atlanta with their moves). Needless to say, the routines were more than my "EYEZ" could stand, but in the end, Deelishis, Krazy and Nibblz won their one on ones on with the master of the house. The losers of the "shake your booty competition, started gossipin' while the cat was away with Toastee taking the cake; providing the ladies with their juiciest gossip of the night, but with shakey proof. Which led us to the payoff...you know, the reason why we watch the disaster in the first place...drama, drama, drama... A must see...

Survivor has been getting the publicity it pretty much sold its soul for and more.

The outrageous "Battle of the Races" concept from the show that should've been cancelled long ago has been getting WAY TOO MUCH PLAY on the cable news networks. Question: Are we supposed to believe that your fascist casting agents (mostly LMC women) are supposed to be equitable when it comes to their choice of players on each team? Is it a coincidence that after years of ignoring/degrading and insulting black women in the media, THIS is the ONE TIME that we are overrepresented? Instead of having 3 black males on the negroid team ( a la the Asian and Latino teams), Survivor decides that, for a physical competition, the blacks only need 2 males (one terribly out of shape and 45 years old) to everyone elses 3. Admittedly, the LMC team has 3 females and 2 males, but you and I both know of America's love affair with the LMC woman. Those chicks aren't going anywhere...

Please note the athletic backgrounds of, oh, everyone on the other teams compared to the nigros...

Now we don't play sports...ya'll are some real crazy muthas...

TBC

Beah Richards...the Voice of Many

“A Black Woman Speaks of White Womanhood, of White Supremacy, and of Peace”

It is right that I, a woman black should speak of white womanhood. My husbands, my fathers, my brothers, my sons, die for it. They said, the white supremacists said, that you were better than me, that your fair brow should never know the sweat of slavery. They lied. White womanhood, too, is enslaved. The difference is degree. They brought me here in chains. They brought you here willing slaves to man. You bore him sons. I bore him sons. No, not willingly. He purchased you. He raped me. You were afraid to nurse your young, lest fallen breasts offend your master’s sight, and he should flee to firmer loveliness, and so you pass them, your children, onto me, flesh that was your flesh, blood that was your blood, drank the sustenance of life from me, and as I gave suck, I knew I nursed my own child’s enemy. I could have lied, told you your child was fed till it was dead of hunger, but I could not find the heart to kill orphaned innocence, for as it fed it smiled and burped and gurlgled with content, and as for color, knew no difference. Yes, in that first while, I kept your sons and daughters alive, but when they grew strong in blood and bone that was of my milk, you taught them to hate me. You gave them the words, “mammy” and “nigg&$” so that strength that was of myself turned and spat upon me, despoiled my daughters, and killed my sons!”

Fabulous.

Wifeswap Makes Us Question the Wisdom of Integration (Again)

Two interracial couples embark upon journeys of self-discovery. Tonight on Wifeswap:

White woman married to a black man, on white men -
"I can't see a black man ever waiting on somebody hand and foot..." [ok blondie, ever heard of, ummm, slavery? This "I'm a man" shit is totally post-swinging from trees. Idiot.]

"Black men tend to know who they are." ['tis news to us]

Black woman married to a white man, on black men -
"Eric reminds me of the black men that I gave up on...they want you to bow down to them...I don't believe in that at all."

"You are the very reason I married my husband (a white man)."

"You treat your wife like a slave." [expect no sympathy here dammit, we say it's about time]

Black man married to white woman, on black woman's nasty attitude -
"You are exactly the type of person who makes this country what it is in terms of race relations..." [right, it was her, a black woman, who f***ed up race relations in America...genius.]

These comments are not a fabrication. I stumbled upon some unholy episode of Wifeswap. According to my Direct TV blurb, tonight's episode involves "two integrated families who push racial stereotypes to the limit." Oh damn.

So what we have is a black man/white woman, swapping with a white man/black woman. In short, these are four ignorant bastards with whom we (normal ppl) are competing for, oh, ozone layer protection, oxygen.

First of all, the stereotypical black woman - btw, thanks and shout-out to ABC central casting - wants us to understand that she hates black men. She said it 40 times. She hates black men. She hates kids too. Imagine, ABC managed to find a black woman who hates kids, all kids, even the curly haired biracial ones she has to babysit during the swap. She hates housework too. And giving the kids book learning. YAY!!! This means she's not a mammy, despite her big ass replete with pantylines!!! After oh, 400 years, we've undone the stereotype. In fact, ABC has managed to completely reverse the paradigm. The black woman here serves no purpose at all - she's no good with kids, she's no good at domestic work, she hates her own people, she hates other people. She's some new shit - a black woman that cannot even take care of white people (we never expected her to take care of her own). Don't get us wrong, she sucks with all her yelling and screaming. And in a cruel twist, she demands tea and finger sandwiches. This is what happens when little black girls read stupid shit like Pride and Prejudice at a young age. Identity crisis. She is a walking identity crisis.

The white woman is all goodness and light (shock and awe). She is a housewife, who simply wants to please her black man. Like, she said this. She respects black men because they are strong and they know who they are. Let me guess, she also believes that they are better endowed and faster runners. In today's news, water is wet, sky is blue. Moron. She first appears onscreen holding her bible and talking to her five biracial offspring. Oh help me. I can't even finish this post.

The long and short of the fiasco is that ABC managed to make the white people look uh human, and the black people were referred to repeatedly as shiftless and lazy. [We note that white people cannot wipe their own behinds]. Anyway, by some miracle everyone's happy in the end. Black lady ghetto dances with the kids. She decides she likes kids from playing with curly haired biracial kids - somehow playing with her two black ones was insufficient to make her like children. Black dude's perspective changes. Women shouldn't have to do all the cooking and cleaning. Apparently he is a caveman. They learn that we are all part of a human race. These people are really stupid. They've clearly never seen any after school specials. It took Wifeswap to teach them that tired ass lesson. Interestingly, the white people didn't seem to learn anything. Thanks massa, for another lesson learned.

P.S. All this new found love didn't stop the black lady from ripping the white lady a new one during the sit-down at then end. White lady foolishly suggested that black lady treated her son like a "slave." They just don't learn. Black lady didn't like that at all. She didn't even "want to hear the word." You know, "don't call my son a slave. You called my son a slave." Rational black man said "we all heard what [white lady] said. She didn't call your son a slave." Black lady responded that she was "just tellin' it like it t-i is." What?!?!? I swear we need a license to appear on reality television.